Kay O'Connors Secret Diaries

January 20, 2001 Deep in my heart of hearts, I didn't want to vote in November, but it was my duty and I did it. With rare exceptions, I've been voting in every election since I turned eighteen, and, except for the one for Ronald Reagan in 1980, I can't think of a vote I was more proud to cast than this one for George W. Bush. Now, praise the Lord, Bill Clinton is gone. Talk about women's suffering!

George took office today, ending such a dark time in our history. I have to say I'm not particularly impressed with the kid's past of illicit drug use and Lord knows what other types of immorality, but anything's better than what we had. And at least he's bringing back some of the people who made the 1980s such a time of enlightenment. If I close my eyes tight and think really, really hard, I can almost convince myself that the past eight years never even happened.

On the other hand, it really burned my cookies seeing Jean Carnahan go off to the Senate, even if John Ashcroft is getting ready to show her who's the boss. For the time being, anyway, the state of Missouri remains in the grip of yahoos. Bob Holden's $1 million inauguration on January 9 was absolutely horrifying: I don't know which was worse, his two Ralph Lauren tuxedos or Lori's bawdy gold-embossed strapless taffeta number. Or the fact that Anheuser-Busch, the AFL-CIO, Southwestern Bell, Monsanto and their ilk paid for most of it.

I so hate seeing Democrats act like good Republicans.

January 23 Glory, glory hallelujah! Little George has been in office only two days, and already he's starting to throw out all the proabortion rules! Oh, sweet victory. And I just loved seeing my colleague in Washington, Sammy Brownback, giving that wonderful, uplifting prayer to the sea of prolife demonstrators before they marched on to the Supreme Court building. I'm an old-fashioned woman, and I'm so happy we're getting back to old-fashioned ways.

February 2 The nerve of that woman! Carnahan had the gall to vote against Ashcroft's confirmation! I guess I expected as much from a Missouri hillbilly like her. I don't believe her for one minute when she says, "I hope he will take these votes of dissent as they are intended: not as acts of spite or recrimination, but as pleas for healing and harmony." Healing and harmony, what a pile of liberal hooey. At least she wasn't elected to office.

February 15 Today has been a very, very sad day. I couldn't even stand to toast Art's Pop Tarts and squeeze his tomato juice after I saw the headline in this morning's paper: "Emphasis on Evolution Adopted by Kansas Board."

Oh, sure, I'd seen it coming. I knew the lily-livered Kansas Board of Education couldn't stand up to all the Leno jokes. But it just breaks my heart to know that little kids will once again be forced to contemplate the Big Bang theory and ponder the age of the earth.

I'm trying to look on the bright side. This is yet another perfect example of why we need school vouchers. Parents need to be the ones making decisions about their kids' educations, dad gummit. Memo to myself: Call the marketing director at Parents in Control, my national nonprofit organization, and have him send out a fresh fund-raising letter.

February 24 Success has rarely tasted so much like a red-white-and-blue cupcake. Finally, after four years, the Kansas Senate has approved my "constitutional awareness" bill, 32-7. Actually, I'm shocked that anyone would ever have voted against it. All it does is make sure every elected and appointed state officeholder has copies of the Kansas and U.S. constitutions and the U.S. citizenship exam.